How to go from Hero to Zero in six months or less

Let’s imagine you’re driving at 3 AM on a motorcycle. A driver in the fast lane slams the brakes and cuts you off from over three traffic lanes to make an exit. Do you survive?

What about at work. You are succeeding and driving in the fast lane. Now you get cut off by one of your teams that you didn’t even know you were being evaluated against. Do you survive?

“Success is a lousy teacher,” - Bill Gates

I learned the hard way, that crashes are avoidable if you are ready to be curious about your blind spots.

I was excelling at work. My work transformed our software strategy from dull to exciting, so much so that our phones started ringing, and the first request was to see a demo of our progress. Territories that once closed the doors to our services began calling and inviting us to the table.

I was promoted to run the Product Strategy of a newly acquired business in Montreal. After one year of overhauling our product vision and mission, I was again promoted to run the Product and Development strategy. There was nothing that I couldn't handle.

Felt like I was driving on the Autobahn on an Aprilia motorcycle, full tilt.

My Ego Crash

After giving my fair share of individual performance reviews, there are two types of people. The Historians and the Introspective. The Historians will go to the ends of the earth to uncover facts and present them to you to prove you wrong. The Introspective will accept the words as truth and begin to seek enlightenment.

A new group leader came into the organization, for anonymity let’s name them Sam. My view was, me being overtly confident, that I was pushing my teams to success and driving our efforts in our industry with intense focus. Sam’s view was my teams were exhausted and not being encouraged to succeed and fail on their own, then posed the question “Are they following you because they want to, or because they have to?” Then he said the most dreaded statement, “You have blind spots.” I was bruised, insulted, in denial, angry, and because of my quick rise, I wasn’t equipped to deal with the feedback. To say I didn’t handle it well is an understatement.

Sherlock Holming - It's not me, it's you

The truth hurts. Its sting forces you to look deep inside and face yourself in ways you thought weren't possible. And like water, we look for the easiest path first. Which, in my case, was proving the feedback wasn't true.

If only Sam could understand the context I have been operating in or the circumstances that we faced as a company, then that should prove me right? And then Sam would begin to see that they were wrong and he would apologize.

So I rounded up all the witnesses to my behavior and investigated.

I once heard a saying, "You only ask opinions from those you already know the answer." When asking about my behavior, I cleverly went to those I knew would give me support. Hearing it enough times must make it accurate because the alternative fact is an outlier. After all, numbers don’t lie.

What I found is there is no prize for being right. I didn't help my status with Sam, who, in fact, was being honest and giving good feedback. Instead, I alienated Sam and showed him that I might not have the emotional maturity to play a more significant role. And to the team I asked questions? I lost credibility.

I lost the Development group. My Product responsibility was also diminished.

An Evolved Ego

Time heals all wounds, so three months must have improved my status with Sam. I requested a meeting to discuss my future. The feedback was the same; there are clear blindspots that I need to be aware of to unlock my potential.

The feedback felt different this time. Time didn't heal, instead provided me the gift to reflect and helped me discover that I wanted to be an adaptable leader, unafraid of new challenges. I took this as a challenge to overcome as opposed to fighting, I leaned in and opened a conversation about scenarios and collected information. Fearlessly investigating my behavior, even when it hurt. We began to plan for a different outcome. What I missed the first time, I captured the second.

Sam said, “You have blind spots.” I proved him right by implying he was wrong. This time, I leaned in and asked how I can realize where I need improvement to proactivity get in front of the potential issues. Anticipate the action, not react to the situation.

Together, we discussed, and together we worked through my blind spots. This time, I realized he was improving my career and pointed out where we needed to do the work.

For the next few months, I began listening more, talking less. Asked my team for more feedback and unblocked issues without being heavy-handed with the selected path. I started letting my team succeed and fail independently, and we owned the group's accountability.

Four months later, I won back my responsibilities in both Product and Development.

Unlocking your true potential requires work on Ego

I now know the importance of creating robust feedback loops to understand my blind spots. Knowing your blind spots is a lifelong journey; they do not go away; they evolve. When you accept that you will always have them, you will begin to live your life just a little bit differently.

If someone hasn’t told you about yours yet, they will and when it happens, think back to this writing and ask yourself, “Are they telling me this so I can improve?” Most likely the answer is yes, and you should take it as a compliment that they are willing to work with you. Your next actions will say much about you as a potential leader, partner, or parent. Be fearless in asking yourself tough questions.